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Dick Free Zone: Aniston Unveils Her New Home Design: Many May Enter, None Will Stay 03.Feb.2010

Come over for coffee! Please? It's like spinster feng shui. What was originally planned as his-and-hers bathrooms are now hers and a spa and soaking tub room. After slumming around with man whores like John Mayer and Gerard Butler, I bet that ol' soakin' tub comes in handy.

The great American spinster unveiled her remodeled home to Architectural Digest, probably because she knows Brad reads it all the time. In the article she says her house is like a "big hug - a Zen-like hug that's free of the scent of manliness", but this story, her house and everything else in her life just screams lonely, lonely, lonely to me.

Maybe she's hoping to change all that by opening her home for this feature. Courtney and David are really tired of being her only friends, and with a possible baby on the way they need some time to themselves. Don't worry about Jen, though. As long as she's got a movie to promote she'll have a man on her arm, and she's got Norman to tuck her in at night. Aww, who are we kidding? You know what that soaking tub is really for - she's given up burning baby dolls on the beach. Too smelly, too public. Now she drowns them in the tub. One. At. A. Time.