Don't look at him. Look at MEYikes. I will admit, I have wondered what Christina Aguilera saw in Jordan Bratman. He's not a pretty boy, but maybe he made up for it in ways we can't see. Whatever the case, if this latest bombshell from Radar is to be believed, he was just packing the wrong equipment. Playing for the wrong team. An outie when he shoulda been an innie.
This totally one-ups the Ashton-Demi sexy swinging couple story - she cruised the gay bars with her husband to troll for other girls to play with but DIDN'T share them. A source who chooses to remain anonymous claims that Christina's bodyguard approached her and said his boss "would really like you". She claims Christina even came on to her in the bathroom, but that she declined because it was too weird, even though Christina said their marriage was an open one where she was allowed to pick up chicks but he couldn't be involved. Well, that's not very nice, is it? Kinda selfish, even, or at the very least terribly unfair. Why should she have all the fun? What happened to make things change?
And things have changed. All of a sudden Christina's taking little Max all over town. Her girl parts are covered. Her divorce papers mention a pre-nup, and she's already cataloging all her "personal effects" (read: everything but his boxers), while Jordy is, as usual, being quiet. Maybe he's just wondering what he's going to do with his Sundays. I wonder if he'll have to sign a confidentiality agreement to keep a shirt on his back. After five years, I'm sure he's got a few stories to tell, but I think he's got more class than that.