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Well That Didn't Take Long: John Mayer To Pen Tell-all About Aniston Sexy Times For Cool 10 Million 18.Mar.2009

Airbrush thisWell, this is hardly surprising. I guess when she retained him to keep appearances up for her promotional tours she forgot to put in that non-disclosure clause. If this is true the little perv will totally humiliate her.

Pillar of truth Star Magazine has the sketchy details of John's plan to cash in on his service contract with the Great American Spinster. In it, he promises to dish about her obsessive six-hour beauty regimen - who cares? She has more money than she can spend and nothing else to do with her time between movies - not to mention their kinky sex rituals and the time she called him "Brad" in bed. Must have been one of those role-playing times, like their trip to the Pleasure Chest.

While Star says John dumped Jen, sister pub National Enquirer says she was the dumper after tiring of his refusal to commit. Her eggs are withering by the minute, people; there's no time left to spare. If he's not willing, surely someone else will be. As much as Maniston just annoys the shit out of me, I actually feel kinda sorry for her. This guy really did a number on her, and so publicly, too. I bet she'd like to tell him to take his big ... and go f**k himself.