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Sick Of Tripping Over Mom's Empties, Sean Preston Federline Steals The Keys And Makes A Break For It. 21.Jun.2007

While Mom and Alli were in the bathroom making funny noises again, Sean Preston saw his chance ... and took it.

Milk, cookies or chocolate cake ... no one rides for free

SPF is a man's man, dammit. He just doesn't feel alive without the wind in his face. He's sick of choking down Mom's second-hand smoke and picking up those funny short straws before his baby brother can choke on them. Every time he starts to feel comfortable around a new nanny, Mom gets jealous and chases them away. What's a little boy to do?

He's hitting the road. Got no money, got no gas, but his Escalade is Flintstone-powered, and he could probably go for days without a diaper change. He's built rugged that way. Mom, on the other hand, is proving a bit more delicate these days. Prone to temper tantrums and hissy fits wherever she goes, Britney continues to be almost more trouble than she's worth, making everyone who works for her earn every red cent. The Daily News is reporting that an inside source claims that there are at least four hits on her new disc - Golly gee, y'all, that's enough to fill up a 15-minute concert right there. Will she have to learn the words first?

Now if only she would wash her hair. Sean P. and Jayden J. are sick of swatting the flies away from her head.