User login

Username: *

Password: *

• Create new account
• Request new password

Navigation

• Recent posts

I thought it was Sam ...If this story is true, Jessica Alba will rip her apart with her bare hands. Nobody wants to hear about their husband getting "raw" and "not shy" with a notoriously trampy crack whore. Us Weekly broke the story of Lindsay allegedly making out with Cash Warren, Jessica Alba's husband, at some club in LA. Witnesses say they were really going at it, but Lindsay of course denies it, saying she wouldn't dare kiss a married man, and I believe her, to a point. If she was really f**ked up she might not even remember what she did.

If you believe the stories, the little Blohan's getting a lot of action lately. The NY Daily News claimed that she made up with Sam after a little pep talk from none other than John Mayer. I didn't even know they were friends; maybe he just wanted to watch the make-up sex. You know, shower them with praise or something.

In addition to a night with Sam, Lindsay has been linked to Gerard Butler, Leo DiCaprio and even Kevin Connolly. It's really no wonder that Lindsay's having trouble finding a job - she simply doesn't have the time.

Atlantic City never looked so goodAh, Sweden, Switzerland, what's the difference? You've seen one neutral country, you've seen them all. And what better way to deflect attention from your mediocre intellect than to flash your ass crack? It's genius. Sheer genius.

As usual, the Alba isn't making any new friends. First she called out Bill O'Reilly for the asshole he is - at least kinda. Of course he took it as a compliment, which only fanned the flames.

Then, she told a journalist to "be neutral - be Sweden" about giving his own personal opinion about the President elect. O'Reilly pounced on her, accusing her of being "misguided" about sovereign neutrality. Even TMZ jumped on the bandwagon, calling her a "ditz" and an "arrogant buffoon".

But Alba and her magnificent ass prevailed. With a little Wiki Jessica was able to prove that Switzerland was not the only neutral country during World War II, and she scolded her detractors for their "negativity and stupidity". Then she went back to beating Cash with the Swiffer. He forgot to take out the trash again. It's just so hard to find good help these days.

Now that's sexyI guess he's taking care of Honor these days. If she's anything like her mother she doesn't give him a second of peace.

While Honor helps Daddy hone his domestic skills, Mom's making some movie in the City. I think she's supposed to be playing some kind of math savant, but I really couldn't bring myself to read the details. I lost interest in the Alba after the first season of Dark Angel.

It's not like she's a gifted actor. Her idea of looking smart is to wear bangs; her idea of contemplating a major problem is to look painfully constipated. You can't blame her for trying to branch out, but by covering up the only thing she's got going for her (that high, tight ass) she's alienating her core audience - mainly adolescent males in search of inspiration. And that's really all she's good for. The Alba is still notoriously rude to fans and paps alike. She even made an 8-year-old girl cry last week. (Seriously.) Bitch. Hope your face gets stuck like that.

I just love this picture - it's just like high school, isn't it?

Not BFFsBehold the two "popular girls" (don't ask me why), former homewrecker Claire Danes and Julianne Margolies from ER. They're not really A-listers, but they are New Yorkers, and regulars on the scene. Check out the way they're smiling at each other, like, "Get that bitch out of here!" It really is priceless.

Even better, though, is the frozen smile on the Alba's face as the others snicker and giggle behind her back. She's out of place, way out of her league, and she knows it. Just look at her makeup compared to that of Claire and Julianne - Alba looks like she's on the clock and working hard - and look at the style and cut of her party frock dress compared to the sophisticated cut and color of the others. Whoever she's got telling her she looks great like that needs to be taken out back and shot. Which brings us back to that question again: Has anyone seen Cash Warren?

Striking resemblance Wow. Look at the pusses on those two. Cash Warren must be the happiest man in the world. He's a lucky dude. I bet you wish you could wake up to a face like that.

Jessica Alba is really not one of my favorite people, as I think I might have mentioned previously. Once or twice. But Honor is a beautiful little baby, and Jessica has her dressed beautifully. (Note that I didn't say that Jessica dressed her that way herself. Even babies have stylists, y'know.)

Lainey wrote a recent blind item that made me think of Jessica. It's a really juicy little teaser about the modern mom who has banned baby bottles from the house. And how is she feeding said child? Well, she's not. That's what the nannies are for - she has absolutely zero involvement in her "long-awaited" baby's care and nurturing.

It may seem like I'm picking on the Alba, but really, when was the last time any of us saw Cash Warren? I mean, think about it, people.