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OK, easy, big fella. No sudden moves ...It had to be Mummy. Only Candy would give an anorexic a chocolate cupcake bigger than her entire head. When Tori tried to pick it up, it quickly overpowered her, throwing her to the ground and rolling her under the buffet table. Dean would have helped her but he was too busy getting digits from the hired help again.

Will ambula-Tori (she will be soon, if she doesn't start eating again) and her regal yet crass mother ever make up? They've never gotten along all that well; when dad Aaron was still alive he managed to keep the peace between them, but now that he's gone the claws are out and don't look to be taken in any time soon.

I'm sure Candy has never gotten over the fact that they paid a million bucks for Tori's first marriage and she threw it all away for a Federline-ish nobody. So what if they've got two kids now? They could have 30 or 40 and Candy would still see him as an overly ambitious underling. And Tori will never forgive her for it, especially since Mom was screening (read: screwing) Aaron's replacement before he was even gone. As far as she's concerned, it's all one and the same. They really should bury the hatchet ... just not in each other.

I swear I ate just last week!You would be, too, if you had a mother like that.

Tori Spelling has dropped an alarming amount of weight in the last few months - some estimate as much as 40 lbs. She looks like hell. Actually, she looks hungry as hell.

Yet Tori swears she's healthy and doesn't have any eating disorders. She also claims her weight hasn't changed since she was 16 - not counting pregnancies, of course.

Like many, I find this hard to believe. Not sure? The picture to the left was taken during this year's Fashion Week; the one to the right was taken sometime after 16 and before Dean. Back when the food STAYED down

Best thing that ever happened to himRemember those pictures of her grabbing his crotchsicle? There's only one reason a girl that hot would stay with a nowhere guy like that: he's got the magic missile. Like John and Jen, it's the only thing that makes sense - he rocks her world.

So why did they break up in the first place? Probably because of ego: she's an upwardly mobile sex kitten and his career peaked with taking Tori Spelling's virginity. Yeah, I know. How do you top that? (Without being arrested or killing puppies.)

Will these two make it? Probably not, if he can't learn to live in her shadow, walking two steps behind her a la Nick Cannon. He really doesn't look the type to be able to eat that for too long, though. He'll probably end up schtupping the housekeeper or something and that'll be the end of it.

Are you kidding me?"Don't you know who I am?"

Tori Spelling has lost a lot of weight since she gave birth to Stella a year ago - too much, actually. She looks even more horse-like than ever. And when is she going to fix that busted up boob job? It's got dings! Maybe that's why security at Christian Siriano's show wouldn't let her in the door. They didn't know who the f**k she was.

Well, as you can see from the photo, Tori promptly lost her shit. She made such a ruckus that she drew a crowd which, luckily for her, included one of the show's organizers, who quickly ran up to the door and waved a big, juicy carrot under her nose. With a snort and a whinny, Tori bolted the grooms and leaped over the corral gate. The little filly settled right down when they led her to her first row stall, er, I mean, seat. Sigh. I guess some rich kids never grow up. That Dean sure is a lucky guy.

This is StellaDad don't mind. He enjoys her credit line.

This is the first picture I've seen of Tori and Dean's newest addition, little Stella. I thought big brother Liam was cute (and he still is, by gosh) but this little girl is cute. I bet her mama was a cute baby, too, and then she grew up into a horsey face. A great big horsey face.

Tori and Dean have been keeping a low profile lately. Are they taking a break to enjoy family life? Maybe, but I don't think Tori's that financially set. They're just waiting for the next reality treatment ... or ovulation cycle. Either that or Tori's recording a country album. If Jessica Simpson can do it, anyone can. At least Tori would have the sense to promote it properly.

Maybe Tori's earning a few bucks consulting. Larry Birkhead said that it was Tori who encouraged him to agree to a reality show about life with Danielynn. Is Tori enjoying a new life as an agent/dealmaker? Her father would be proud.