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Dear Lindsay: Stop Sucking On Samantha's Neck. It's Really Tacky

Where I come from, this is as good as a ringI'm just surprised that Samantha isn't sick to death of Lindsay and all her antics and bullshit, especially her crocodile tears at Goa earlier this week. Samantha was supposed to be her sober friend; I'm sure Lindsay was just upset because Sam wouldn't let her mix booze with all the other stuff she's taking. Is she back on the Oxy's? At that lame photo shoot for her exciting new leggings line she looks absolutely ossified.

And now Sam and Lindsay are in the city of love, and what better place to tentatively step out of the closet than the place where TomKat all began? The pair has fallen under the spell of Paris, with Sam stepping out with a wimpy little lovebite on the side of her neck. I bet if you look close you could find the veneer-prints of Lindsay's plasticized teeth. With no new work coming up and a pushy little sister who wants to put her out to pasture, Lindsay's got a lot of work to do. Frankly, without her mother egging her on I don't see her wanting it bad enough. Momager Dina, of course, only has eyes for Ali these days. "Lindsay who? " she was overheard asking friends between bumps and shots.