Yodel-odel-lady-hoo!
This revolutionary non-invasive procedure has Beyonce walking a little funny, but she's breathing more clearly than she has in years. The only drawback? There are no more birds left for miles around.
Beyonce won't admit where she got the idea, but all signs point to her crazy mother, if for no other reason, than, hey, she's a bit nutty. She looks like she eats kittens for breakfast.
She still hasn't mastered her dismount though. Last week Jay Z had to rappel up there and release her from the pole. Her panicked grip had created a vacuum and it took several hours to free her. All the commotion damn near knocked the house off its foundation, but all is well and no animals were harmed in the process.