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Brokeback Bong Hits: Owen and Woody Caught In Private Moment, Pummel Peruvian Paparazzi

We can't do it again. I'm still sore.We can't do it again. I'm still sore.

Ha! Try saying that five times fast!

Owen Wilson, world-renowned as the Butterscotch Stallion, and Woody Harrelson, world-renowned as prodigious consumer of all things cannabis, are on a rock-hunting trip to Peru, where they're sampling the country's finest flake. No, actually they went to visit a children's shelter they co-founded. But what started as an innocent goodwill tour has gone horribly awry, and the hapless potheads now stand accused of man-handling a pair of photographers who may or may not have overstepped their bounds.

In an uncharacteristically un-stoner like move, the two dudes are being accused of holding one pap hostage while they roughed up another. My question is this: What were Owen and Woody doing when the paps discovered them that caused them to overreact so violently? Were they smoking pot? Last time I checked that was a sedative, not a stimulant. Blowing rails? Owen's supposed to be clean, and it's not Woody's speed (pardon the pun). Or was it something more ... intimate? Stranger things have happened, but I dunno. That's just too weird.

 
 

 

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