And you thought Papa Joe Simpson was bad. My toenails are curling just looking at this.
Papa's got a brand new shagWell, Lilo's out of inpatient rehab, although the official line is that she really is keen on maintaining her sobriety. While we've all heard this from her before, one hopes she's sincere ... at least this week. She swears she's staying away from the people and places that got her in trouble in the first place, and that she'll remain in Utah when not filming that tango movie. She's got a new boyfriend, too, a kind of doofy-looking snowboarder named Riley. Insiders say it's her first "real boyfriend" since Harry Morton - they mean he's the first sober guy she's willing to admit to. While working the goody-goody angle, Lindsay denies she had anything to do with the demise of Tony Allen's marriage. "He's just a friend," she said. Hmmm ... then who was she banging in the bathroom? Oh, that's right. She was just fixing the pipes - didn't know she was a plumber, did you?
Has the Firecrotch been extinguished? For now, yes. Has Lindsay learned to wear proper undergarments? Sure, it's cold in Utah. Will she be able to keep it together this time? One hopes so. Producers are clamoring to work with her now that she's sober, and why not? She's a very talented actress; she should just let someone else pick her roles. Let Mom go do her reality show and make her own money for a change. I'm sure Ali will thank her down the road.
