ALL POINTS BULLETIN: Be on the lookout for a small, irate garden gnome running amok in the streets of Beverly Hills. Subject is described as a stubby little gnome-like creature with poor posture and a swollen abdomen. If you spot the runaway gnome, simply throw it a veggie burger and run like hell.
If I can't drink I'll eat.Right now Nicole still needs Joel, so he's not going anywhere. He helped her pull off her little innocent act in court and he's great at keeping the paps out of her face. Likewise, the baby thing was great for keeping her out of jail and turning the tide of public opinion back in her favor, but every time she looks in the mirror her heart stops. It's like a bad dream ... complete with occasional gastric reflux.
Nicole looked so thrilled to have her picture taken in a bikini during her latest trip to Hawaii with Joel. She's been running around in tent dresses and hiding behind giant pillows; did she really think they wouldn't snap her when they finally had a chance? And don't let that puss fool you; if she didn't want the attention she would have gone somewhere more exclusive. Nicole is one of the biggest media whores around - always has been, always will be. The difference between her and all the others is that she knows how to play the game. Hell, she wrote the book. Nobody else has done what she's done and still makes the A-List, consistently, year after year.
