Somebody should slam Dina Lohan's head with a toilet seat repeatedly until the pieces are small enough to flush. Why her minders at Promises let that bitch within 100 feet of her daughter is a mystery, but then again, Lindsay never took rehab seriously. It was all a sham.
Look what Lindsay did to the wagon! As early as her birthday on July 2, Lindsay was drinking again - when she returned to rehab that night she was busted. Again. And guess who else showed up to celebrate her birthday? Why, none other than that coke skank, Calum Best. A normal parent would have kicked his ass to the curb. I'm sure Dina welcomed him with open arms - and her handy pocket mirror. By the end of that week Lindsay was heard asking people where she could score drugs at the Polaroid House party. By this weekend, Lindsay was soup, even getting caught by paps with her shorts down. Lucky for her they couldn't bring themselves to publish them. Her new assistant finally threw in the towel and bailed, infuriating Lindsay, who gave chase and ... well, we all know how things turned out.
So what does Lindsay's coke whore mother do? Does she charter a jet to LA, hire a group of sober consultants, and rescue her daughter from her drug hell? No, she calls the tabloids to complain that all the media attention has made her and her family prisoners in their home. Which apparently means she can't get her dealer to make housecalls anymore.
Ali, are you watching all this? Throw away the leopard print bikini and run away to the circus. Bring your little brother. He'll thank you later in life.
