Mischa Before PhotoshopOK, I kid, I kid. That's not really Mischa, but it's closer to the real thing than this is. The following shot is from a spread Mischa did for French Elle in which she dressed up like classic Hollywood movie stars. Can you figure out who she's trying to imitate?
Doobies are a girl's best friend
This wouldn't be so bad if they were doing a Bratz Doll shoot. Big head, big hair, big eyes, no body. Couldn't they have just crammed a few cutlets in there somewhere? How can you do Marilyn with no boobs? That's like PB and no J!
I don't know who this lanky skanky emu of a girl is giving happy endings to. She did only lousy (and I mean LOUSY) TV show. She travels all over the world, she hangs out with top designers and wears their clothes for free, and she never gets popped for smoking pot behind the wheel.
In other words, Mischa is a big fat nobody. And once that cellulite on the back of her legs travels up to her midsection and the back of her arms, she'll be back behind the register of the local Piggly Wiggly, counting the minutes to her next cigarette break so she can go get stoned and play a few scratch-off tickets.
