OK, I admit it, I tried on a pair of jeans JUST LIKE this yesterday. But unlike, Ms. Simpson I made the right choice and didn’t buy them. Why? Because I looked in the damn mirror and saw what a fat ass they made me look like. Apparently she doesn’t own mirrors. 
Jessica Simpson
We should all just thank our lucky stars that Jess isn’t included in the ranks of celebs who influence our fashion decisions like The Olsen Twins, Nicole, Kate Moss, etc. It just dawned on me that I’m taking my fashion cues from a bunch of anorexics and a drug addict. Oh well.
Back to the issue at hand. Jessica is a hot mess and needs some help now. I wish I was her real friend so I could take secret footage of her and get Stacy and Clinton from What Not To Wear to give that ho a $5000 Visa Gift Card to get some new clothes. That should cover it, since she clearly is buying her clothes at DressBarn.
Strike Three – She’s OUT!
